Loss
by LickSkillet
Summary: Spoilers for the end of "Wrath of Khan." R&R please, as it is my first Star Trek fic


**Author's Note:** Read my note at the end, please. :]

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"Reliant- come in Reliant. We wish to discuss your terms of surrender, and board your vessel. Come in Reliant----"

"Captain- the Reliant is giving off an energy signal… the likes of which I've never seen before."

Spock's voice was even, void of emotion- a statement of fact – as he cut Uhura off. However, Kirk could detect the underlying current of surprise and … was that _worry?_

Kirk turned his chair to face Spock's station, observed David walking over and examining the visual readout of the signal waves. _David_, his _son_. Christ, it had been a long day.

"I know that pattern!" David exclaimed. Everyone on the bridge turned at the outcry, Kirk sitting on the edge of his seat, hands pressed against the edges of his armrests. Spock had turned and was gazing at David; one eyebrow cocked- here was some _human_ who knew more than a Vulcan-! Any other time, Kirk would have laughed.

"It's from _GENESIS,_" David said softly, gazing almost guiltily between his mother and Kirk – God, his _son_. "He's going to set _GENESIS_ off!"

Kirk caught Spock's alerted gaze – there wasn't anything different in his facial expression, but when you've been around a Vulcan long enough… especially a half-human one – as he jumped to his feet and rounded to David's side.

"Then I'll beam aboard the Reliant and shut her down, manually."

"You can't, sir." David informed him, his voice grim. He refused to meet Kirk's eye, so instead the Captain settled his gaze on his head Science Officer.

"How long've we got?" Kirk asked, the gears in his head already turning.

"4 minutes, sir," David mumbled. Kirk pressed an impatient finger to the intercom.

"Kirk to engineering! Scotty, we have to have warp drive, _now_!"

"I'mmafraid we cannah', Captain. The impulse drives are barely funtionin', but tha' warp drive is too damaged, sir."

"Sulu, get us out of here!" Kirk exclaimed. They had roughly three and a half minutes… they'd never make it out of the blast radius in time.

"Scotty!" Kirk waited a long minute- no response. "Captain to Engineering deck. Scotty, come _in_ God damnit!"

David was talking to Dr. Marcus – Carol, his mother… _Christ, his son_ – as the timer crept downwards.

"Sulu, what's the distance between ourselves and the Reliant?"

"400 kilometers, Captain."

The air felt heavy, the conversation died down.

"We're not going to make it, are we, sir?"

"One minute and counting, Captain," Saavik informed him.

"Sir! Warp drive is functioning again!"

"Sulu, all ahead full warp!" Kirk commanded, sitting back into his chair as the ship launched into deep space. Behind them, Kirk watched the _GENESIS_ explode into a supernova of energy, leaving ripples of blast merely kilometers behind them.

"Well done Scotty!" Kirk praised into the intercom.

"Jim, you'd better get down here."

"Bones? Bones where's Scotty?"

"Never mind that Jim, just get the hell down here!"

Kirk flicked his gaze upwards, to see what Spock's reaction might be.

…. Where was Spock?

"Spock…!" Kirk stood abruptly, rushed into the elevator and gave a hoarse, "Engineering Deck," command as the doors closed and he was rushed downwards. Spock. Spock! How had he not noticed him leaving? What had happened? Spock—Spock, God damn him!

He rushed from the elevator into a dead-quiet engine room, the hum of the warp drives the only noise to be heard. Bones and Scotty were staring into the warp core, a room filled with intense radiation, sealed off by thick glass.

"Spock--!"

He ran to the glass, ready to pull open the door. "Spock!"

"NO, Jim! The radiation in there will kill us all!" Bones and Scotty were holding him back- but he had to get in there, he had to—_Spock!_ He whispered the name against the glass, pulled his arms free and pressed them too against the glass, palms flat.

Spock stood from being curled in the corner, stood and straightened his jacket – God damn him, Vulcan breeding – turned around and walked unevenly to the glass.

Half of his face was pockmarked and burned, nearly melting away. But it didn't matter, he looked wonderful like always- his arching brow, those serious eyes, those pursed lips.

"Spock, Spock… How—why?" Kirk stopped, his eyes widened as he stared into that dying face. "T-Th-The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few," he breathed, pressing his forehead harder against the glass. _Spock._

_ "_Or the one." Spock finished, his voice still deep and calm, vibrating through the glass on that low note.

"Spock- Spock!" Kirk was reduced to repeating his name, feeling the tears welling up in the back of his eyes, stinging. Not here- not this way… It wasn't _logical_ to leave, to leave him behind!

"I am-" Spock took a labored breath, "And always will be," He pushed his hand against the glass, fingers spread in a familiar sign, "Your friend."

There it was- that small smile, that quirking up at the lips that made Spock _Spock_, revealed his human side… the human side that made him care so much, that made him such a lovely, amazing person—

"Spock!" The Vulcan was sliding down the glass; his hand had fallen away, useless. "SPOCK!" The glass hummed as Kirk screamed into it, this hard, thick barrier between them. This wasn't right- it wasn't---

And then he was gone.

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**End Note:** Hey guys! I'm so, so sorry that I haven't updated in. God, months. Since 2009. The truth is that my fics have trailed off. As another FanFic writer once put in an note, I'm kinda feeling like my fics are songs I've played too many times. In while, I'll get drawn back into them. If I do write anything now, however, it's either going to be something Star Trek related... Or it may end up being some of my OC work that I want to publish on Fiction Press. If anyone is interested in that idea, please let me know in a PM or something, and I'll post the link on my profile when I finally make it.


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